Damaged
by ShatteredReality00
Summary: Sakura finds out she has Leukemia after a horrible accident. To add to that, she gets violated by none other than Syaoran's bastard of a cousin. Scared, she pushes everyone away, even him. What will he do now? I'm bad at summaries but I tried. SxS RR
1. Prologue & Introductions

Hey guys, I want to work on two stories at once. I have a lot of good things I wanna write about and I can't map everything out how I want it. It's so hard.. so I'm going to do my best.

This story is mine, but unfortunately, the mega cool main characters belongs to CLAMP. =[

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COMMOTION

"Stop where you are.. don't come any closer." She said.

"Sweetie what are you talking about? What are you doing?" Said the boy as he tried to take a step closer to the emerald eyed beauty who is right about now on the verge of jumping off the bridge right behind her into the deep blue sea.

"I'm sorry, please don't come. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It couldn't be helped though. I know it's my fault but I dont deserve it anymore. Please forgive me." She begged, hyperventilating but no one could get near her.

Knowing that she is serious when she says something and if anyone got closer, she'll jump.

Tears flowing freely out of her eyes now as she clutches her heart. She tries to hold herself up with the railing but is failing miserably when suddenly a voice from somewhere in the crowd shouts, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU STUPID LITTLE SLUT. HOW DARE YOU? YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM, HE'S TO FUCKIN' GOOD FOR YOUR BITCHASS ANYWAYS HOE SO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND JUST LEAVE ALREADY!!!" Then the tone sounded pain saying, "With you being here.. he'll never heal. HE NEVER WILL!!! So please, just leave us alone. Haven't you done enough damage already!? Just please.. go.."

While everyone turns to glare at the voice, the emerald eyed girl just stared at the owner of the voice and realized it was one of her best friends. Anger, fear, pain and every emotion possible flashed through her eyes as she quickly remembered everything that happened between them.

With a small smile, she straightened herself out and said..

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SOMEWHERE CLOSE BY

_'Please Sakura, don't do whatever you're thinking. I'm almost there. Hang on. Just a little bit longer. Why didn't you tell me you idiot?!?! WHY? Why do you always have to hurt yourself? Why am I so in love with you when you're such an idiot?'_

A boy of 17, running to the now crowded area. Tears forming at the corner of his eyes made him made up his mind. He wanted to marry her. And regardless of anything and everything; that's exactly what he's going to do.

_'God, Forgive me for I have sinned, I'm a bad person, I'm selfless and I'm an idiot when it comes down to things like this and situations like these; I've never asked for anything from you in my life so far, not that I even deserve it. But just this once, please let me make it on time. Protect her with all you've got. And I will do everything in my power to devote myself in you. I'll believe. Please, I'll do penance. Practice abstinence. Anything._

_'I'll do anything as long as you keep her safe for me. Take me if you want. Please, she's been through enough. God, this is the only thing I ask of you. I want nothing more than her safety. Just a few more seconds.'_

As he ran, he recalled of what she said to him three months before things started to change between them.

_[[I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. How I've hurt you. I've hurt those around me and I wish nothing more than to take back that feeling. But what's done is done. As much as I want to take back all the pain that I've caused everyone, I can't. So the only thing I want to say is please. Forgive me for being an idiot. Forgive me for lying and decieving everyone. I didn't expect it to be such a big problem._

_[[It's gone too far, the only way to get myself out is this. Just in case, if anything ever happens to me, just know.. I'll always love you. Only you. And I'm sorry for so much trouble.]]_

And with that, she turned and ran away.

_'But not again'_ he thought. _'This time, I won't let you leave me again, I was an idiot for not going after you once, but not this time. I'm more than determined to make you the most happiest person alive. So don't you dare.'_

COMMOTION

"It's gone too far, the only way to get myself out is this. Just in case, if anything ever happens to me, just know.. I'll always love him. Only him. I never meant to be so weak." She closed her eyes, holding her hands together and as if she's praying she says, "Lord, please keep him safe. I've never prayed to you before, I've always used your name in vain, but just this once, before I go, I just want to make sure, you HAVE to give me your word, that NO harm will be done to him. Please. In any way, can you promise me?"

As if replying to her, there was a gust of wind and as she opened her tear filled eyes, she smiled a small smile as she saw him head towards her but before he could reach out, she held her arms out and fell backwards over the railing into the sea.

It was a long way down and she could hear her best friend's boyfriend and her best friend, her little brother, her father, Mei Mei, Chi, Rika, Naoko, Takashi, Ryu, Mike and Justin, everyone shouting her name.

But she just ignored it and once she felt that she had gone under the water, she let herself go.

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SOMEWHERE CLOSE BY

_'A little bit more.'_

_5 seconds.._

_4.._

_3.._

_2..._

Pushing his way across the crowded area, he spotted the girl he loved so much smile at him. At the point, no one else existed. Just her and him. He was so close to having her in his arms again. Until he saw her fall backwards. He started panicing and without noticing, he ran through the last person, and replaced the spot where she stood just moments before when it finally dawned on him that she jumped.

He kicked off his shoes and jumped after her, ignoring the shouts and screams from everyone.

PAUSE.

**Okay, I see as you all are confused, I should do a little explaining and what happened, how it started, before it all started, how it led to this scene you see right now and maybe what happened afterwards? Maybe you should sit down for this, no interruptions. Just listen. All your questions will be answered at the end.**

**"Before we begin, please, listen to the words, how everything starts and after one thing leading to another, learn from this. Don't make the same mistakes that this girl has done. Although, unintentionally, not only has she hurt those around her, gave her foes the satisfaction that they needed but also, she hurt herself. Understand, put yourself in her shoes, and feel what she feels. If you don't do that, this story will be meaningless."**

**Well, this girl you see here.. her name is..**

My name is Sakura Kinomoto. I'm 17 this year and this is a story of how I met my Mr. Right, fell in love and at the same time, hurt all my friends, family, myself.. and him. I never thought the damage would be so great. But boy was I wrong.

If I could turn back time, I'd take it all back. But I can't, now.. I can just live. That is my punishment, live til the end of my days. I will do that just for him. But let's go back..

..to the place where it all started.

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Please tell me what you think.. And I have a question.. what does "AU" mean? And I need a new pen name. Anyone have any suggestions? =p

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	2. Troublesome Twins & The Accident

**mysterious** - thanks for the review! =]] I will continue. But the thing is.. my flashdrive broke and I lost the entire story. I had everything all the chapters in there. =.= Now I have to start over.. lol.. but no worries! I'll make sure to finish!

**SnOwWoLfGoDdEsS** - thank you! I'm glad you like it. ^^ thanks for reviewing.

**merylin** - I'll try not to. laugh out loud. thanks for the review!

Much appreciated!

**Disclaimer **- CLAMP.

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_'BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP'_

I hear my stupid alarm clock ringing. I reached over and pressed the snooze button, but when I finally wa drifting back to sleep, it rang again. Stupid fag.

Groaning, I get up. As usual. I look at the time and see in big red numbers 13:41 flashing at me. I just stared at it as if it grew two arms and one leg. As I let my vision clear a bit more, I jumped out of bed and tok a two second shower and dashed to Penguin park.

When I got there, I didn't see Syaoran anywhere.

**Oh yeah! Syaoran is my boyfriend. Today's our special day. Our four year anniversary.**

_'Strange.. maybe he left? I'll just wait a bit more. Maybe I'll tell him my good news. I'm 3 weeks pregnant! I wonder how he'll take it.'_

**SYAORAN [40 minutes ago]**

_'She's late. LATE LATE LATE LATE LATE. She was suppose to be here 40 minutes ago. Is she still sleeping? I bet you she is. Arrg. She knows today's our anniversary, how much longer is she going to sleep in? Maybe I should go over there. Than again, she might be on her way, I'll wait here a bit.'_

**30 minutes later.**

"That's it. I'm going over there." he mumbled as he walked away, never noticing he was being followed.

**SAKURA**

_'Well.. I guess he's not here. I'll just--'_ but she was interrupted by a voice.

"SAKURA-SAN!!" Takahashi Akiru screamed.

For as long as everyone can remember, Takahashi Akiru has the biggest crush on Sakura. He's Syaoran's cousin. Syaoran's 18, Takahashi is 24. Sakura had say no to him before because she had Syaoran, but he didn't take no for an answer. Nobody said no to the Takahashi twins.

"Oh, Takahashi-san, weird seeing you here. Can I help you with something?" Sakura said to him missing the evil glint in his eyes and his lust for her.

"Well, you see, Syaoran told me to come here to tell you he's not feeling too well so he was wondering if you can instead of meeting him here, go to his house."

"Oh, well why didn't he call me? Is he ok? Is something the matter?"

"I'm not too sure, when I stopped by this morning to drop off a package his mother wanted me to drop off, I found his door open so I walked in and I saw him on the floor blood covered him all over and he was running a high fever. I insisted he go to the hospital but he persistently asks for you." Takahashi lied, a worried expression written on his face.

As soon as he said this, Sakura dashed to Syaoran's house, too worried and scared to see Takahashi right behind her.

Once she got to Syaoran's place, she used the spare key he gave her and busted open the door.

"SYAORAN!!" She screamed.

"SYAORAN!! I'M HERE WHERE ARE YOU?!" She starts to cry once she realizes he's not there. She runs into his room and everything's a mess. She turns back and goes into the living room and she realizes everywhere's a mess. There's red footprints.. Hers.

Terrified of blood, she tried to calm down. It's not a time for her to black out yet. She needs to know Syaoran is safe. From the corner of her eyes, she sees someone or rather a lot of someones moving. Before she can even turn her head to see who it was, the door slammed shut.

She stood there, shocked to see there was six, no, seven guys including Syaoran.

"Syaoran!" She starts towards him but she freezes when a gun is pointed to him. She glares at the owner of the gun. That's when she takes in the view in front of her.

Everyone had on black clothes and a mask. Syaoran had two big guys on each of his sides, each holding one of his arms, while another two was in back of him pointing pistols at him. His clothes were tattered and he was bleeding from his forehead on the right side. Takahashi unlocked the gun but didn't remove it. There was a guy next to him that Sakura recognizes as Takahashi Akira, Takahashi's twin. Sakura always expected him to be the rational one. She was wrong.

"W-What's going on. Why are you doing this?!" Sakura screamed.

Akiru chuckled while Akira had a pained look on his face.

"Why? Why?! She asks!" Akiru laughs some more. Then says..

"Well dear, if you've never noticed, I've always wanted you. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one for me. But no, after two years of being with Li, you lost your virginity to him. You should've seen me than. I was broken. Shattered I tell you. No one knew a thing. Oh, How did I know? I was there. I watched the WHOLE THING. Did you know how much that HURT? To see the woman you love fucking his cousin. How would you feel if you see Li do that to another girl? What would you do?"

Sakura stood there, shocked. She tried holding back her tears but the image of Syaoran in so much pain just breaks her heart. She knew Syaoran did a lot of damage, after all, he is heir to the Li clan. But these guys were not only big, but most likely they sneaked up on him. He could never lose to these bastards. Ever.

"I tried to forget after that day, I tried really hard, but I couldn't. I knew I had to get you one way or another, so as I was walking this morning, racking my brain for a plan, which was to kill him and have you running to me of course, but when I saw him sat there, I thanked God he gave me this opportunity. It was like, the rain has finally stopped for me. But of course, I had to be quick, so I hid behind an oak tree. Just after 40 minutes of sitting there, he got up and with that, I quickly, as quiet as I could, ran up to him after calling my men, and struck him in the head with a bat. He was unconscious right away. It was meant for the back of his head but he turned around and I just couldn't let him see me so I went on with it anyway.

"Tough boy I tell you, he's a true Li. Wanting to protect you from us. He knew all along. He just didn't want to see you hurt. See what you did? All because of you, things turned out this way! It's ALL **YOUR** FAULT!!"

Sakura, at the point was hyperventilating, trying to calm herself once again. Through everything, she managed to say..

"Please don't hurt him. He did nothing. Please let him go. What do you want from us?! I'll do anything. I promise you, as long as you take him to a hospital, make sure he's ok. I swear I'll do anything. Just let him go."

Akiru smirked.

**SYAORAN**

_'Shit, my head hurts like hell. What the hell happened? Sakura.. SAKURA! Where is she?! Is she ok?'_

I open my eyes slowly and in front of me, I see Sakura crying, I can't hear too well but I heard her say something along the lines of let him go. Huh? What is going on here?

**"..I'll do anything. I promise you, as long as you take him to a hospital, make sure he's ok. I swear I'll do anything. Just let him go."**

I hear Sakura, and.. Akiru.. AKIRU! I lift my head up and I recognize this place as my house. I feel something cold against my head. I daren't move though.

"Move, and I'll kill your precious fiancee."

_'Fiancee? How'd he know I wanted to propose to her today? God damn it.'_

"If you lay one finger on her Akiru, I will kill you."

"SYAORAN! You're awake, thank god. I thought I was going to lose you. You're okay." Sakura screamed at me through tears. Seeing her like that breaks me. How dare they.

_'Fiancee? So he was going to propose today.' _

She smiles a warm smile at him to let him know she's ok. Seeing him awake is enough for her. She turns to Akiru and looks at Akira.

To Akiru she says, "Well? Answer me, what will I have to do to have you let Syaoran go?"

"Easy. Break up with him. And be mine." He smirks a disgusting smirk. She looks at Syaoran, who is struggling to keep conscious.

"NO -pant- Sakura, Don't. -pant- -pant- I love -pant- you." Syaoran breathes out.

Sakura thinks about it. Without hesitating, she says, "fine. Under ONE condition."

Akiru raises a brow and smirks. "Oh? Alright, what is it?"

"Let me take him to the hospital and make sure he's tended to. Than you can take me wherever you want, away from here. If not.."

By this time, Syaoran is slowly drifting off again, he can't take it no more. His head falls down as he whispers, "-pant- Sakura, no, -pant- -pant- I.. -pant- love you." and with that, his eyes closed. But even unconscious he hears her say, "..take me wherever you want, away from here.."

_'Sakura..'_ was his last thought.

"Deal." Akiru says. As he and his men turn to leave, Akira stayed behind.

"Akira?" he heard his twin brother say.

"I'll help her take him to the hospital and we'll both head over together." Akiru nodded and left.

_'Soon you'll be mine Sakura. All mine.'_

Sakura ran up to Syaoran's limp body and cradle his head in her arms. She just cried and cried. Akira picked up the phone and called the cops, requesting an ambulance.

Sakura blocked out the world, she continued to cry and whisper conforting words to Syaoran hoping he can hear her apologies. Never knowing, he can't hear anything.

The ambulance came and the paramedics asked her and Akira questions, which only Akira answered. Sakura watched as they lifted her love onto a stretcher and took him away. In his hands, he dropped a piece of gum and a small box. She went over and picked it up.

_'His favorite type of gum..'_ She slowly opened it and popped it in her mouth. Seeing there were words on the wrapper, she unfolded the whole thing and neatly in black ink in his handwriting wrote, _**"I love you with all my heart. Make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?"**_

She then opened the box and the most gorgeous ring laid inside. [I wont describe it, use your imagination.] It wasn't too big and wasn't too small. Just perfect. She turned to look at Syaoran as they pulled him through the door and she saw a tear slide down his cheek.

After the paramedics left, Sakura called Yumi, Syaoran's house keeper, and told her to stop by Syaoran's house and have everything clean for when he gets back.

Satisfied with everything, she turned on his laptop and left him a note. Saving her message. She turned off his laptop and left with Akira to the hospital.

**HOSPITAL**

I walked to the receptionists desk as fast as I can and asked for Syaoran Li's room. Before she can answer, I told her I was his fiancee. She looked at Akira-san and I quickly said cousin.

He was in room 613A. I stood at the window and saw him hooked up to so many machines.

"I hate you, what did you people do to him?"

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, I was forced into this, you know I would never want anything bad to happen to you and Syaoran. He threatened me he'll kill my wife and kids. I can't handle that. Casey, Hana and Ai is all I have. I hope you understand that."

I nodded. Of course, he's just protecting his family. But there must be SOMETHING he could've done to prevent this. ANYTHING.

"It's _Kinomoto_ to you, and there must have been something, anything you could've done to at the LEAST keep Syaoran from getting hurt like this. If anything happens to him, I'll never forgive you Takahashis. I didn't even get the chance to tell him." Pushing back tears that were threatening to spill, I glared at him, hard. I told him to stay put as I walked into Syaoran's room.

He looked pale. His breathing was shallow, if I didn't know any better, I'd think he's dead. I took his hand into both of mine. A few stray tears made their way down my face and onto his hand.

"Syaoran, ever since the day I met you, you've given me nothing but happiness and protection.. Only one can do so much you know? You can't protect me forever. I'm sorry, to have put you through so much. This might be the last time I see you. I'm sorry. If only I didn't come late, none of this would have happened.." _I start crying_. "If only, I listened to you and went to sleep early, I wouldn't have been late.." _I'm on the verge of breaking down now.._ "If only I never appeared in your life, you'll be fine. Happy, even. There was something I wanted to tell you this morning. I'm sorry I never got the chance. Syaoran, I'm pregnant.. with our baby. You're going to be a father. That is if that bastard doesn't find out and hurt him. I promise you, with everything I have, I'm going to protect it. I promise. I won't let anything happen to our baby. It's ours. We created a life.

"I'm sorry to leave, but I have to go now. One day though, we will see each other again, and when that day comes, I promise.. Our baby will grow up and be a strong person. And he'll protect you and Touya, and everyone. Syaoran, thank you. For everything. **Wo Ai Ni Xiao Lang**." I stand up and kiss him gently on the lips. I hope he heard everything I said. With that, I walked out of his life.

Akira was speechless for a minute after I came out. I knew than that he heard everything I said. After a few minutes of awkward silence, he said, "B-b-b-b-b-b-baby? Y-you're h-h-having Syaoran's baby? Since when did this happen? Does anyone else know?"

"Yes a baby you dolt. What the hell do you think? Of course it's Syaoran's, who do you think you're talking to? It happened not so long ago. I'm about three weeks and no, nobody knows."

"Let's go." I said as he and I start for the elevator. I took one last longing look at the father of my child and I walked away.

**SYAORAN**

_I hear Sakura mumbling something but I'm not too sure. *sniff**sniff* She's crying! Why is she crying? What's going on? Where am I? Akira? Akiru? Is Sakura hurt? I see her._

"SAKURA!!" _I yelled, but she didn't hear me. She just turned and walked away. I try running after her but she just gets further and further away from me.._

"SA--"

"Syaoran, ever since the day I met you, you've given me nothing.." _I've given her nothing? How can she say that? Sakura what are you talking about? I gave you everything!_

"You can't protect me forever.." _Yes I can you dolt! Stop it! What are you saying?!_

"If only I never appeared in your life.." _What?_

"There was something I wanted to tell you this morning.." _Tell me what? Sakura, tell me what? I can't hear you?_

"Syaoran, I'm pregnant.." _You're what?_

"You're going.. father.." _Huh? I'm going where? what? Father? Who's the father?_

"I promise you.. I'm going to protect it.. I won't let anything happen to our baby.." _Our baby? It's ours?_

"ours.. a life we created.." _...Sakura.. I'm going to be the father? Me? A father? Our baby?_

"I'm sorry to leave.." _Wait.. what? Where are you going? Sakura! Don't go! No!_

"Wo Ai Ni.." _SAKURA!!!!!!!!!! Damn it. Fuckin eyes, open! I feel something soft on my lips. Sa-Sakura! She's kissing me. Sakura, don't go. Please. Don't leave me._

And before darkness engulfed him once again, he heard a soft click of the door, meaning his only love, just left him. He lost her..

_'FUUUUUUUUUCCKKK!!!!! SAKURA... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!'_

**SAKURA and AKIRA**

They sat in silence in the car. Fifteen minutes have passed and no one said a word.

"I'm sorry Sa-Kinomoto-san. If I knew, I wouldn't have let this happen."

Sakura remained silent. She said nothing. So many thoughts were going through her head she didn't know where to begin. It wasn't his fault. He's jut doing what he has to do to protect his family. That's understandable. But she was too upset to say anything.

"Kinomoto-san. Please answer me. Curse at me, yell at me, anything, just please talk."

Still. No answer.

Sakura turned her head away from the window to look at the man next to her. The man who was suppose to be her friend. A man who she respected so much.. _'how could this have come to happen?'_ She thought.

**What took place next was a tragic accident. No one could've predicted it.**

**HOSPITAL**

Syaoran's family, including Tomoyo, Eriol, and Touya, Sakura's little brother, and her father was there.

Syaoran's mother was silently crying, holding her only sons hand, with his four sisters surrounding her and the bed, Eriol, Tomoyo and Sakura's family members on the other side of the bed.

Than, as if a miracle happened, Syaoran slowly opened his eyes..

But at the same time, Tomoyo's phone beeped. She had a voice message. _'Maybe it's from Sakura!'_

_'This is Doctor Hamasaki Hiro, I'm calling to let the family members of Kinomoto Sakura know, she just got into a threeway accident and is being taken to Tomoeda's Private hospital right now. Her condition is critical, and so is the baby's. I repeat, Kinomoto Sakura just got into a threeway accident and is being taken to Tomoeda's Private hospital right now. Her condition is critical and so is the baby's. Please have someone come right away.'_

"No." Tomoyo whispered, dropped her phone and fainted, Eriol's quick reflexes caught her and Syaoran's eyes widened.

"Sakura." He whispered before he got up picked up Tomoyo's phone and redialed her voicemail. He heard the same message and ran passed the doctor and out the door..

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welps.. tell me what you think. I had to redo it. I thought my other one was better but it's fine. Took me a while to do this. Would you rather the story be long with short chapters? Or short with long chapters? Let me know please!

Reviews please!


	3. Author's Note I'm sorrie

Ok. Sorrie guys. I have no excuses except one. Maybe two..Or three.. Ok.

**1. I forgot the plots because as idiotic as I am, I decided to try writing 3 stories at once. -.-**

**2. High school. I finally graduated.**

**3. My mom had a baby.**

So. This will be on hiatus until I remember or make up a new plot.. But there is a story I would like to write about that trust me.. I will not forget the plot of that for real. And this time.. it wont be sad. I promise. So please support me and follow me on "Best Friends to Lovers."

After this story, I'll try finishing **ONE BY ONE** the stories I have on hold. Please and thank you.


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